He told me that he has got no one else in this world. No parents, no siblings, no relatives. He lost his family. Because of.. something really awful. He lost a girl. A girl he used to call 'mine'. I don't want to write about how he lost the most important people in his life here. And right now, he has no place to stay, no friends to hang out with, and he doesn't have that much cash with him. He just.. doesn't have anything in life. Everyday he wishes that he were dead. He even tried to commit suicide once but, it didn't go well. He's still alive.. He said every time he hears the siren of an ambulance, he wishes it was him lying inside it. Dying. You know, when people tell you about their problems, you only care about it for like a millisecond, then you'd start to think about your own shits. About what's wrong in your whole life, really.
As for me, my problems right now, what was I thinking when my friend was pouring his heart out, well... comparing to his shits, mine doesn't seem that big of a deal anymore. It's not even really something to deal with if you think about it. It's just, when you feel like happiness doesn't seem too far from you, unlike how it used to be, when you think you've found something that has lost for a long time, when the reality is better than any of your dreams, and when you tell yourself 'This is it. This is the one'... like, its not. Trust me. I mean, its just an illusion that has been created from two people who are affected to each other. At some point, somehow, the illusion will.. shatter. And everything wouldn't matter anymore. But, somehow, it still matters to me.
Lets just put it this way; Shit happens. Life happens. Fuck it. Move on. Yeh, it seems really easy if you put it that way. Well, life always happens, and its shitty. You cant help it. Its not gonna be like how you've always dreamed about. But to say 'fuck it' to this... bitch, its painful. To even have the thought of me moving on is just, extremely, excruciatingly, impossible. Right now. Right at this moment. Like people always say, time heals everything. Who fucking knows yeh? But one thing I know now is that I dont want to end up like my friend. Im not gonna give up. Its still not too late for me. Im still young, sort of good looking, and healthy.. physically at least. Its one thing not to give up, and one thing, not to stop believing.
As for me, my problems right now, what was I thinking when my friend was pouring his heart out, well... comparing to his shits, mine doesn't seem that big of a deal anymore. It's not even really something to deal with if you think about it. It's just, when you feel like happiness doesn't seem too far from you, unlike how it used to be, when you think you've found something that has lost for a long time, when the reality is better than any of your dreams, and when you tell yourself 'This is it. This is the one'... like, its not. Trust me. I mean, its just an illusion that has been created from two people who are affected to each other. At some point, somehow, the illusion will.. shatter. And everything wouldn't matter anymore. But, somehow, it still matters to me.
Lets just put it this way; Shit happens. Life happens. Fuck it. Move on. Yeh, it seems really easy if you put it that way. Well, life always happens, and its shitty. You cant help it. Its not gonna be like how you've always dreamed about. But to say 'fuck it' to this... bitch, its painful. To even have the thought of me moving on is just, extremely, excruciatingly, impossible. Right now. Right at this moment. Like people always say, time heals everything. Who fucking knows yeh? But one thing I know now is that I dont want to end up like my friend. Im not gonna give up. Its still not too late for me. Im still young, sort of good looking, and healthy.. physically at least. Its one thing not to give up, and one thing, not to stop believing.
